Psst. Yes, you. Are you watching the Republican debates? No--not interested? Well, you should be. Not only do they inform and remind the viewer of how out of touch with society and reality these nitwits are, but how incredibly hypocritical and uh, crazy, their ideals can be.
In one corner you have Mitt Romney, who looks as starch and uncomfortable in jeans and a button down shirt as a hooker at a Catholic confessional. And yet, we’re supposed to believe that he is just the average American guy. Well, “Mittens,” I hate to tell you this but the average American guy pumps his own gas, is among the 99%, and moves as if his jeans were an extension of his body.
Opposite Mittens is Newt Gingrich, the former Speaker of the House who was oust by his own party after 84 counts of ethics charges were filed against him. Ethics charges, people! Speaking of ethics, Gingrich’s campaign may be facing voter fraud in Virginia. I really can’t stop laughing. And we won’t even talk about his ethics on marriage.
To the right of Fig Newton is the ever faithful and forgetful Rick Santorum. Ricky Boy supported Paul Ryan’s plan to obliterate Medicare and Medicaid and apparently has amnesia when it comes to the rise of poverty under former President Bush, he blames Obama. Someone hand me a barf bag, please. This angry little man, who is supposedly devoutly religious, reminds me of a crazed Nero ready to set America on fire to clear the way for his radical, and terrifying, ideals.
And sitting opposite of Nero, perhaps the scariest of them all: Ron Paul. Just when you think: “Hey, he makes sense. I could get behind this guy.” All of a sudden Truth shows itself and BAM! you find out that he thinks that global warming is a hoax, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 violated the Constitution and the federal government should not have the power to demand equal pay for equal work. Wow! Brainy and an equal opportunist!
I am telling you, dear reader, you cannot make this stuff up. These people are running for the President of the United States of America—in 2012!—and their ideologies are those which encapsulate the ideologies of the early 1900s. Unbelievable!
Now, before some of you get your knickers in a twist and start shouting about how bad Obama is doing--breathe. I never said Obama was perfect. And I certainly do not agree with everything that he has or has not done. But for the most part, I cannot lay blame on Obama for not progressing at a steadier pace. No. I must give credit where credit is due. The grand award for the greatest obstruction and the most filibusters in recent history goes to…the Republican House! Let’s give those “do nothings” a great round of applause, shall we? Thank you for passing that jobs bill Obama has been pushing for the past few months, and for putting education first; for recognizing that Social Security does not affect our GDP, at all, and unions are worth their weight in gold. Wait. What’s that? Not you? That’s right—you’re the party of “No.” Thanks.
So as we edge closer to the 2012 election, we Americans need to start paying attention to these little things. College students especially need to get involved because whoever is elected, their policy on education and jobs will directly affect you. Tuition fees are on the rise and government funding is dwindling. Jobs are few and far between, and having a degree does not guarantee you a job. Your future is in your hands—take hold and never let it go. How? The first step is finding out the facts behind each candidate. Don’t fall for the negative campaign ads that will bombard you over the next several months; remember, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are people and money is free speech. That means if a corporation backs a certain candidate, like for example, Rick Snyder, who likes to give out billion dollar tax breaks to corporations, they can flood the airwaves with millions of dollars worth of negative campaign ads. Nice, huh? But I digress. Next, vote! If you are not registered, register. Do not sit idly back and allow someone to steal what belongs to you.
In the meanwhile, pull up a chair and grab some popcorn. The next Republican debate promises to be a hoot!